Twenty Minutes, Two Miles

At the end of the day, what do you want your last thought to be when you go to bed?

Do you want it to be about your regrets? Things you wish you hadn’t done? Things you wished you’d had? That rattlesnake you saw slithering through camp as you contemplated sleeping under the stars?

I’m young. I don’t have all the answers. Nor do I pretend to. 

I lead expeditions with and for veterans with disabilities via No Barriers USA. 

I travel.

I hike.

I experience life through as many lenses as there are people on the trail every single day.

Today I emerged from the Gila. This journey was not about me though. No, today we emerged. 19 individuals turned into one infallible rope team. The fibers of our respective twines bound into one cord. A cord with enough give to allow for growth but enough strength to hold steadfast in times of need. 

We talk a lot on these trips. Sometimes it's about me, mostly it’s about others. It begins with talk of struggles, fears, families, dreams, pasts, tears. Tears morph into laughter, laughter bolsters strength, strength ushers in hope. Hope for the present, visions of a future. Futures where fears hopefully aren’t the guiding principle and where goals are attainable no matter the barriers- no matter if they are twenty minutes or two miles away (you W2S folks know what I mean).

Today we emerged from the Gila. A rope team. A family

I often feel a loss at the end of these trips— not because I am sad but because my heart is so full it does not know quite how to function as it processes all those moments from days preceding. All those smiles, grimaces, tears, leaps of faith (or leaps away from snakes hunting frogs in hot springs), and mounds of undeniably unfiltered & unfettered laughter.

When I look at my life, I lead a pretty simple one. 

I don’t have a house, I don’t even have a rental place to live (by choice). Hell, right now I don’t even have an official storage unit— merely a space in a friend’s garage to place what physical belongings I do have. 

Many of us stock our success based on the physical things we are able to afford— homes, cars, vacations, computers. The list goes on for all the belongings we collect over the years. We think that if we can just afford that next greatest thing our voids will be filled.

If all my belongings were to catastrophically be demolished tomorrow though, I know I will be ok. Why? 

These expeditions.

This rope team. My rope teams.

More dear to me than physical goods are the memories, the connections to others fostered along the trail, in the heart, and on the mind. Those “others” whose presence in my life allow me to do what I do. Those who have made & continue to shape me into the person that I am whether they realize it or not. 

When I fall asleep at night, my last thoughts are of you all. The ones who have made me laugh and the ones who have challenged me. The ones who have filled my heart to the brim overflowing. The ones who were willing to open up & embrace growth. 

Here’s to you, Gila Misfits.